- Sorry I'm late, Allison. - That's the fifth time in 2 weeks.
At least when we were married, I could hope you were having an affair.
I always hoped you were having one.
Why do you think I always paid for your tennis lessons with Javier?
Look, Gary, I know you're juggling a lot of stuff since you took the radio job,
but, you're dropping balls left and right.
You're late constantly,
you shrunk Louise's ballet costume, and you ate Tom's home Ec homework.
All right. If you have homework as a Frittata,
don't leave it out on the table when I wake up at night to pee.
I know.
What's up, bro?
- Can I get a hug? - No.
I was talking to Allison.
Hey, guys. Quick, get in the car. We're going right to daddy's house.
No, dad, I have youth orchestra tonight.
OK. Great. Just put your cello behind the van Čand I'll put it in the back?
Honey. Have fun, OK? And Tom, please, get a good night's sleep,
'cause you got your first swim meet tomorrow.
Thanks for reminding me. Gotta shave down tonight.
Shave what?
So, those 4 chest hairs I showed you, just part of my imagination? What?
I almost forgot. I got the bill for Louise's youth orchestra.
It seemed pretty expensive. I could see if the orchestra played a little, like,
rush or AC/DC or something.
Well, Gary, you knew it was gonna be expensive once she got accepted.
I know. Look. Don't worry about it. I got things coming in.
A lot of people are still hitting me up for painting jobs.
I'll handle it. I'll just add it to the zero time that I have.
Who needs those 4 hours I set aside for sleep anyway?
We better get going to the movie.
You're going to the movies with Allison?
Let me give you a tip. When she offers you her junior mints,
she doesn't mean it.
You'd share your junior mints with me, wouldn't you, sweetie?
Of course I would.
How many do you want? We could always get 2 boxes.
- What was that? - Dad, my cello!
Upsy daisy.
- You guys got any tape? - Oh, my god!
Gary, that cello cost $2,000!
Howard, can you just can you give us a second, OK?
- Where is your head? - Why don't you leave me alone?
It's one thing. I've been up since 2:00 am. So, I killed a cello.
Look, that... That's the thing. You're spreading yourself to thin.
You're doing 10 things at the same time
and you're only average when you try to do one.
Glad you noticed. It's hard to maintain that standard all the time.
Listen,
I was wondering if maybe,
just for a while, i'd take the kids an extra day.
No way. We're not changing the custody schedule, OK?
I promised the kids I would always be there for them.
I'm not gonna you know go back on my words now.
I'm not giving you any of my days. Forget it.
Just rember you got a lot of stuff going on tomorrow.
OK? Tom's swim practice is in the morning at...
Hold on a second.
They gave me, one of these fancy Blackberrys over at the radio station.
You tell me and I'll put it in this puppy right here.
He has to be there by 6:30 am,
so, you have to take him there after your show.
And then after school Louise is a volunteer at the animal shelter, and
then the swim meet, and then Louise's Orchestra recital.
You got all that?
How do you turn this on? Is it on the top?
-= 206 =- "Gary Tries to Do It All"
VO By : €Aka€
Team Subs-Addicts"
I got here as fast as I could. What's the Crisis?
Remember that endorsement spot for red pirate pizza that recorded this morning?
- No. - Let me refresh your memory.
The guy from red pirate pizza was standing there.
I was standing over here, and you didn't show up.
The guy came in costume.
You know how awkward that was?
You know what? We have to do it right now, OK? So, sit down.
I'm sorry. Jeez, I've been up since 2:00 am, Curtis.
Besides, Red Pirate pizza stinks.
The only reason they don't have rats is 'cause the rats have tried the pizza.
And you're on.
Hey there, Los Angeles. This is KPPQ sports guy Gary Brooks,
and when I'm not at the game,
i'm watching with my friends at Red Pirate pizza.
Red Pirate Pizza!
Put some treasure in your mouth!
You hungry?
And we're good.
You know, a little piece of my soul just left.
- OK, you gotta sign these releases. - Then, I gotta get out of here.
I took out another paint job, and I gotta meet my crew in 20 minutes.
I thought you were pulling back on the painting jobs.
I'm trying to, but this very frustrating thing keeps happening. I go to the bank
and I tell them I owe more money than I make,
and the bank says they have the same problem.
Man, you know, I would love to give you some money, but I know you'd say "no."
And if you called my bluff, then we'd both be embarrassed.
What I need more than money is time. Allison asked me last night
wanted to change the custody arrangement so she could take the kids more.
I swore after the divorce, even though I would only see my kids 1/2 of the time
I would never let them down. I would always be there for them.
Everybody knows that you're great with your kids.
But nobody would blame you if you felt like you had to change it up.
No, I got it covered, OK? Look, Tommy has a swim meet and,
Louise has this youth Orchestra thing I'm gonna attend.
I'm gonna be front and center for both of those events. You watch.
Guys, just a reminder about the promotional event
we're co-hosting with Adrena Power Energy Drink.
It's mandatory that everyone be there tonight.
No, that's not tonight. That's tomorrow night.
No, it got changed to tonight.
I sent an e-mail to your Blackberry.
Really? Why don't you show me where in the Blackberry that is,
'cause I never got your e-mail.
It's right here.
Under where it says "50 unread messages."
And I think you accidentally took a picture of your thumb.
OK, you know, I am gonna tell myself that that's your thumb.
Look Sasha.
- My kids have important things. - Is there any way no more.
- So I don't have to go? - No, I mean don't say any more.
You're coming to the event because you're doing an hour live there.
But let me put your mind at ease about something.
My dad missed almost every event I was ever involved in.
I was sad and hurt, but
11 years of intense therapy, and I turned out fine.
Hey, Curtis? Why are you here so early?
I sent you an e-mail about the time change.
Man, you gotta start checking those.
My fingers are too fat to press the right buttons, OK?
There I said it. What's the big deal? I thought I start at 6:00 pm.
No, set-up is at 6:00 pm You're on at 7:00 pm.
Damn it. This whole night depends on everything happening on time, you know?
All right, I'm gonna run over to Tom's swim meet and then, i'll come back here.
I'll do my hour. And then I will go to Louise's youth Orchestra thing.
See? I can figure out a way to do everything.
Easy now. There's some things you can't do, even if you think you can.
No, no. It's just nice to see sasha in her out-of-work clothes.
Although, I would like to see her out of her out-of-work clothes.
I'm telling you, you do not want to get mixed up in that.
You have to admit, it's pretty hard, working for a boss that's that...
I was gonna say "hot," but I yawn.
You are wiped? Yeah, I'm pretty tired.
I'm running on fumes, here, Curtis.
OK, well, you know what, buddy? We gotta pick you up, then, OK?
- What's this? - Adrena power energy drink.
A few of these will do the trick. They're our corporate sponsors
so don't say too loud how nasty they are.
Kinda numbs the tongue.
And also, if you spill any on your crotch area,
flush it with water and then, call the number on the back of the can.
Swim, swim!
Dig it out, Tommy! You got it!
Yes! He won!
In your face! In your face, face, face!
That's my son! That is my son! He won!
- Hey, dad. What's up? - This is my son.
We just got here. My race isn't till after the individual medley.
Really?
The medley's the one where they swim a series...
- Excuse me, needleman? - I know what a medley is, OK, fella?
- Where they do all 3 strokes. - It's actually 4 strokes.
- It's butter, back, breast and free. - Look, I know.
But I'm going by the first Olympics ever in ancient,
France, when they only had, like, 3 strokes because they thought the
breast, stroke was profane, so.
When, when do you swim? What's going on here?
- I don't know. Maybe about 1/2 hour? - What? 1/2 hour?
- What, do you have to be somewhere? - What? No way.
Right here's where I need to be, watching my, watching my son swim.
That's right. I just hope you don't have to
race against that other Tom. That kid was amazing.
Where were you?
I watched my son swim the slowest 50 meter in the history of water sports.
It was embarrassing.
I was calling you.
I can't answer my phone,
whenever I pick it up, I accidentally speed dial some guy named luther.
Nice guy. I think I'm gonna buy his dirt bike. Let's hit the Mike.
There's been a little change in the schedule. I think it getting pushed back
because we had an unexpected celebrity appearance. John Stamos showed up.
Really? That's cool. Who's the celebrity?
John Stamos. Now, apparently, he's gonna be playing the bongos,
so you're not on for another 90 minutes.
You gotta be kidding me.
All right. You know what? This will work out.
This will be OK. I'm gonna go, to Louise's recital,
the youth Orchestra thing. Hopefully she'll be up right when I get there.
And she will see me in the audience giving her her first standing ovation.
- That is sweet, man... - I need some energy.
I need some more of these drinks. I'll take the whole tray. Thank, sweetheart.
- See you later, Curtis. I'll be back. - Be careful.
Hello? Hey, Luther, what's up?
A sofa sleeper? I don't know. I'd have to come look at it.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Sorry, lady.
Tom's swim meet, check. Louise's concert recital, check.
Seeing both kids, check and mate. I'm always there for my kids.
Apology accepted. What time does the youth orchestra start here?
- 1 hour and 15 minutes. - What? I can't wait that long.
You know, to see Louise, 'cause I'm so excited about this.
She's on after Rimsky-Korsakov.
Which one is he? There's like 50 guys up there and none of really look Russian.
Is it that chick with the eyebrow?
Rimsky-Korsakov is the composer, Gary, and he's dead.
I didn't know that, but, you know, that's
just probably 'cause I got laid in high school.
High school was tough for me. I was such a nerd.
But then, I started a company in my garage, sold it for $600 million.
Got to the point where getting laid, for me, was boring.
Really? That's great. Then you guys are gonna get along perfectly.
Just stop moving. What's wrong with your leg?
Nothing wrong with my leg. Whenever I'm near you, my leg's instinct is to run.
Gary, I've seen you through 15 years and 3 jeans sizes.
Trust me. Your instinct is not to run.
If you're pressed for time, gary, i'd be happy to tape louise for you.
This bad boy is HD.
Nice try, needleman. No matter what, I'm gonna catch my daughter.
I don't care how much nimsky I gotta sit through.
I know. This is the best part, right?
Can I get another one of these? Thanks a lot.
Where have you been?
That's a weird question. "Where have?" I've been a lot of places.
Mexico, Carlsbad Caverns, Yellowstone park, New Orleans.
Once I went to, grand Island in Nebraska to see my grandmother.
It wasn't grand and it wasn't an island. It's a crazy state.
OK, you gotta lay off these things. All right? You have just barely made it.
You're on in 5, 4, 3...
2, all right.
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the score with Gary Brooks.
Brought to you by Adrena Power Energy Drink.
Yeah! This thing makes cocaine look like baby aspirin.
That's not their official slogan or anything. Yet.
Yet! That's not their official slogan.
These things are amazing. I had like 20 of 'em today.
I feel like I got a cheetah tail growing out of my ass.
Argh! You hungry!
Thanks, once again, to my friends Adrena Power.
Adrena Power. Drink it or get the hell outta my way.
That is not their official slogan either by the way, my name is Gary Brooks.
This is the score. I'm done.
Nice. That show was unbelievable.
I have never heard somebody say so many words in so little time.
- I was talking fast? - Were you talking fast?
You named every major league player in 28 seconds.
I did. I almost got tripped up on nomar Garciaparra,
but I just plowed through it.
OK, but why don't you come down and relax?
- Just take a second, OK? - OK. Hey, why are you talking so slow?
Grab a table and chill, OK?
I'm gonna hang with John Stamos for a while? He's got a V.I.P. Table.
Well, actually, it's just a table with John Stamos sitting at it, but.
Who cares, man? I'm partyin' with uncle Jesse!
Brooks, you sounded great.
Right. Why are you talking so slow?
I was listening with all the executives, who made me do a shot of vodka
every time you said "Adrena Power" on the air.
I don't know how many times you said it, but!
There's a chance I'm engaged to one of them.
Hey! You wanna dance? Hey, let's dance.
This'll be good. I love this song.
Hey, you know, you're Kinda fun, Brooks.
I've been wanting to tell you. Now, I'm sorry I'm so uptight at work.
I'm really not like that. You know, I'm actually Kinda fun.
Just under a lot of pressure, you know?
Yeah, tell me about it. I know all about pressure.
Hey, that's a great shirt.
You know they sell Calvin Klein at costco?
I did it all today. I did it all.
I went to the orchestra.
I went to the swim meet. I painted. I did my little radio job.
I'm mister do it all, big winner radio, fun time dance man.
- What? I can't hear you. - I said,
I did it all. I can do it all. Like, I feel like i'm invulnerable.
I can do anything, except, all of a sudden,
I have this pain in my chest.
- What? - I don't know.
I don't feel so good. My heart's pounding. I can hear it in my ears.
I gotta stay sitting down. Is it hot and dark in here?
But I don't know. It's hard to tell because it's hot and dark in here.
Is it especially hot and dark in here?
- I don't know. - I can't catch my breath.
Call 9-1. Go ahead. Call 9-1.
- Call 9-1. - I don't have my phone.
- Do you do you have your Blackberry? - I got my Blackberry.
I'll call 9-1-1 myself.
Hello, Luther?
Call 9-1.
I'm gonna pass on the sofa sleeper.
I'm in hell!
What did I do wrong in my life? Why did I wind up in hell?
Gary, you're OK. You're in the hospital. But thank you for that reaction.
I'm glad I got out of bed and ran across town to be here for you.
What happened? Did I have a heart attack?
It wasn't a heart attack. Hi, I'm Dr. Greenberg.
- Greenberg? - Adopted.
Well, the good news is you're going to be OK.
The bad news... Well, should we excuse everyone?
They're gonna find out anyway. Might as well just tell 'em now.
Well, you didn't have a heart attack. You had an anxiety attack.
That's embarrassing.
- Followed by some pretty severe gas. - Dude.
It's OK. It's all right, Curtis. At least that's the worst of it, right?
There was also explosive diarrhea.
All right.
For the record, I did offer to clear the room?
At least now, I gotta be honest with you I feel pretty relaxed and comfortable.
That'll be the valium.
Doctor, what do you think brought all this on?
Well, from what we could tell from your urine sample,
which, by the way, was the largest I've ever seen, yeah!
It seems you consumed a massive amount
of caffeine, taurine, glucosamine and vitamin b12.
That'd be the Adrena Power.
Those energy drinks really make the heart race,
and if you're already feeling stressed or rundown,
there's your anxiety attack right there.
I'll be back in a minute.
Well, I guess I can't do everything.
Gary, I have a proposal that might help if you're willing to hear it.
If it involves switching up the custody arrangement, just forget it, OK?
I don't care if I gotta walk around holding an oxygen tank and
be hooked up to Adrena Power i V, i'm not switching any of the days.
I'm keeping all my time with my children.
I just brought that up 'cause I was trying to help.
You have to get past the idea that everything I say is a threat.
Or else what?
Please, just, can you forget the custody thing?
All right, what I'm proposing is this.
What if I take over some of the managing of the paint business?
What? You'd be my boss?
Oh, my God!
No. Sorry. That was me. I was just fiddling with the buttons here.
I think my company makes these.
No, Gary, not your boss.
Just, you know, help out however I could.
Dispatching the crews, picking up the supplies, whatever you think.
I don't think you understand how that painting company has defined my life,
from the first time I picked out that wreck of a van,
to hiring crews, half of the time, they don't even show up,
breathing fumes all day, every day,
having customers that are never happy, always yelling at me.
The paint that never comes out. You know what? Actually, you can have it.
- You're welcome, Gary. - All right.
You know what? I'm pretty tired. Can you guys get out of the room...
Everybody, clear out. My boy needs some space in here?
Curtis, could you... You, too. Please?
I'm the one had to pull his pants off.
- I just wanted to have a... - yeah. Go ahead.
Yeah. I don't mind.
Hey, that was, that was really fun
- tonight. - Yeah, I had fun.
- Up until the point where you... - Yes, I yeah, I know.
I'm glad you're OK.
I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
She's cute.
I know.
- She's young. - I know.
You had explosive diarrhea in front of her.
I know.
You OK? You really had me worried.
I'm OK. I just feel like an idiot, you know?
I have to make sure, no matter what happens, I put the kids first.
No matter what, the kids come first. Like they always have. That's all.
I know.
All right, I'm gonna let you get some rest, OK?
Look, I know we don't, you know, do this together anymore, but...
I can't do it alone without you.
I know. Me neither.
Allison, wait. What's Allison?
What's this button do?
Allie. You never told.
Hello, happy.
OK, Mr. Deacons, we'll have a paint crew out there at 8:00 am. On wednesday.
All right. Yeah, I gotta run. I got another call. OK.
Hello? Hi, Mrs. Anderson.
Yeah, listen, the paint crew said they accidentally fell into the pool.
I can't really explain the beach ball.
Can you help me with a few of these calls?
Jeez, al, I'm Kinda busy now watching sports, you know?
I have to for my radio gig. Hey, get me another beer.
It's good for my anxiety. That's what dr. Greenberg said.
Mrs. Anderson? That's just the schedule. I can't really do anything about that.
Yeah, I know it's repetitive, but that's the music they like.
Team Subs-Addicts"